Hold your head high, gorgeous. They would kill to see you fall.

when you read something this good, you just have to pass it along

2007-01-09T02:52:50Z

my little sister wrote this. i hope she doesn't mind i stole it, i'm in awe of her and all i can do is shut up and let her words sink in:

"At least I’m not fake like you. At least I don’t pick on people who might not have it that well. I make mistakes, I say things I don’t mean, I tell secrets, I tell lies – but I know when I do and I regret it and I apologize. I don’t bask in the overwhelming pain of others, overjoyed to know that I’m the one that caused it. I don’t like to hurt people like you do. you act so ruthless that you're barely human. I still thought that somewhere beneath the layers of hardened soul, a merciless shell, there might remain fragments of the friend I used know. but you're dead inside, every single one of you who has done these things. I know what its like and I can only pity you for the day you wake up and realize it, for the day when you peel off your makeup like a mask of skin and know that it’s hiding nothing, to know that you're any empty void. this is what happens when you hurt good people – you hurt yourself. I tried to keep the best of you in mind, I still hoped that behind eyelashes heavily painted black, there were still the kind smiling eyes of someone who used to be there for me – but now they are empty cold and disinterested. I wanted things to stay okay, even if they weren’t good with us. but I don’t think I can bear to look at your face anymore, if I would even recognize it; your hair looks so straight and crisp that I think I could bend it and it would break; your face has so much makeup on it that you look like a china doll; I’ve never seen you look this thin before. Why don’t you people think that you’re pretty as you are? What is this preoccupation you have with self-image, or the arrogance you have to so brutally remark on things that are natural and real? I used to worry about you occasionally when I had reason to, because I cared. Now I become sick to my stomach because I now know what you’ve become. Did they make you into this? I thought as humans we have complete control over our actions but one never knows for certain what the outcome may be. I didn’t know you for a very long time, but still we were friends and you stuck by me when I thought surely you would want to avoid me. If we could go back in time, I know that you would hate who you are now. And if I knew that this loyal, caring, funny, considerate friend of mine would turn into a compulsive destructive, both to herself and others, bully…I would have never let it happen either. I would’ve tried to stop you from shattering the mirror and melting into the mold."

alison

nervous

2006-07-31T06:50:04Z

how am i supposed to say goodbye to sean in eighteen days? i mean were in the middle of bickering and fighting for no reason but im still so heartbroken that i have to let him go. im losing everything when i lose him. my life will thrown so far off. i wont know what to do without him. hes not even gone yet and i cant stop crying i can barely see enough to type. i mean yeah im so happy for him, hes going to a wonderful college and hes gonna meet so many great people and all that. he's gonna do so well. of course i want all that for him but how am i supposed to watch my best friend stay when im leaving. theres this lowe's commercial thats like "we'll prpare you for basically everything./..evertyhing but the drive home." if this is before how am i gonna be able to make it 5through to after. and its not like i have an option in going. hes my brother, best friend, confidante, hes on my team when it comes to my parents, hes the only one in the whole world that i can tell everything to. i mean yeah all my friends are amazing and wonderful but no one can possibly be my brother. i depend on him so much for everything. i know ive writeen all this before. and it seems like wow no big deal. everyon has to say goodbye to their brothers and sisters but everyone reading this knows that sean and i are not normal brother&sister. hes not a normal guy. hes a godsend. hes gotten me through every trial so wher do i go when hes not there? i would go to mr morris but we all know hes gone as well. this is gonna be a long year. and yet so short. im so nervous.

i miss you...

2006-07-30T06:20:39Z

so this summer had been weird because not only did i get my frist realish job, not like career job but the kind i get 3 figure salary paychecks-hey big spendaaaa- but also because i didnt see my friends. i mean yea ive seen bre&jeff a couple times, annie&sean once, willie and matt were there..?, i saw hannah's mom, i didnt spend the 4th in cville so i havent seen kelly, or allie or whit, i spent two days with chels but that doesnt feel right. i mean my absolute very best friends will leave me in a year. i really miss them. especially chels&wabba. we bicker and fight but they are my heart and soul, they are my sisters. i love all five of them so much and i miss them. senior year will be a blast if they have anything to do wiht it. <3

this goes out to you girls, i cant wait for the next wabba night!!
and chels- i cant wait to spend all of fall together<3

im sorry i ditched for the summer. i grew up a little bit. and now i jsut wanna go home.

the school year

2006-07-19T16:59:26Z

i just gave my two week notice. in exactly two weeks i end my season at the princess bayside. its bitter sweet, but ill be back nxt year. my boss already said she'll hire me "in a second" :o)

on another note- the mole called about my scheduling. i signed up for college math and marine bio but in order to take them id have to cut classic lit which aint gonna happen no matter what so now im taking fucking honors anatoy and physiology and statistics. talk about screwed... this is my senior year, the one i couldnt wait to slack through::

classic lit-malone, who expects me to work and pushes me harder than any of her other students cause if she doesnt, i wont do the work

ap enlgish- malone told shafer to "light a fire under my ass to get me to work"

honors anat&phys- i hate science and this is an honors class...

statistics- will definitely be harder than college math, which sprinkle said would be the best choice for me because i would have a better mathmatical background than the majority of the class

yearbook- midura is crazy beyond belief and i have an actual responsibility to have every classes page done and in order.

and of course gym- woo effing hoo
&religion.- new teachers, all ill think about is how much i miss mr morris

its gonna be a good year. i already am missing training for company because of work and i still ened to take drivers ed. to be honest im excited beyond reason, not sarcastically, im totally serious.

this goes out to you, kid.

2006-07-08T06:55:50Z

when i look back on this school year, its been a year of loss. but where there's loss there's gain, right? from gym meet, to the morris's, to mr. manocheh. i've cried so many times this year but somehow its been such an incredible year. i think with loss come growth and boy have i grown.
i came in this year with what felt like nothing. i dont mean to insult the girls that have stuck by me through it all- brenna and christi. no matter who my "group" is they're always some of my best. but my friendships are all awesome, theyre amazing girls that will all be great people and im ecstatic that i get to see that happen. i put a good relationship on the rocks though, i've never been one that can trust and stick around for good. im committed to being uncommitted. at the same time, i dont want to trust, if that amkes sense. im looking for someone that after i know them for years ill trust them, someone that will doubt me just as much and eventually well see that really we're gonna screw up and probably hurt each other but at the end of the day the person we're fighting with is the one we want to kiss good night. or something. what i really want to write this about is courtney- wish me luck on keeping on topic but here goes:
this girl came into maryvale and one, she was unique- she. was. asian. she only non caucasian. im no racist but in totalwhitey land you cant overlook that. she wasnt just unique by looks, she had her own thoughts, own views, commentary, jokes, she talked in class and when she was anything but happy she'd let you know. i've always liked her, kind of been initimidated but just cared. when i saw her crying i always wanted to sit down and cry with her but it usually wasnt my place. she's been through a lot, i cant say what but just enough that im aware of it. this past year she really became someone special to me. i dont want to say i started to pay attention because you cant not pay attention to her, she's THAT fabulous. but i started seeing her in a different light. she's always been smart, but she became wise. and she's always been nice, but she became gentil. always strong, but became a warrior. always mysterious, became deep. listening to her in religion and seeing her reaction whether it was HUGE AND LOUD or just the slightest change in her facial expression was so interestting. ill never be like her, for better or worse. but ill always see her as something, someone that has it all in the most desperate of time. a smile when she's sad, and a will to swim against the tide. i dont know if she'll ever understand how i see her or if she'll ever read this but it's important to put this out into the world. i found she's leaving and im really sad. i dont know if ill get to see her ever again. how many times have i seen rachel? or marlee? zero and one, respectively. i watched the morris's move away. i watched mr. morris literally get in his car and drive to north carolina. out of the parking cape and wilde lake and drive down the road. the first .1 mile of a totally new chapter. ive gotten a good long time with courtney but its like watching one of us graduate before the rest. like one prick of the heartbreak ill experience at the end of the year. i hope shes so happy and i wish the absolute best for her. i love her and no matter how much i complain i love 2007. i love maryvale and i will miss this a year from now.

justwunnahavfun @ 2006-06-26T02:36:00

2006-06-26T03:04:51Z

so i havent written in here forever.
life at the beach isnt what i thought it would be..its kinda a beeeach.(like bitch..haha)
but anyway work is alright. some people are just so sweet and cute and some people are just so mean. i have to deal with loons and crazy people as well as just interesting people, not the bad kinda interesting. like i checked in a deaf man today. and i see so many babies and little married old couples, and brides and people going to wedding, beach bums and people coming for random ass reasons. i see trashy people and highest class. theres a girl that teases me for being a rich virgin, i know its not that she hates me for it, but she's 20 with a child thats 18 months and shes never been higher than just at the poverty line. i look up to her in a way, she's been there, everywhere im scared to be. and she's gotten through and she moved out, lived on the streets for three months and in the end recommited to god. thats just so incredible. i miss the morrises. actually i miss everyone from home except sean. this summer was a stupid idea. after this how can i say goodbye to him. he basically is my best friend, big brother and parent all at the same time.i hadnt thought about how i have to say good bye in two months and all the sudden im heartbroken. no one could possibly understand the bond we have. no ones cared about me like he has. always, constantly. danielle is so lucky and she doesn't even know. i think she will in time, she knows not to let him go. he's just a man, you know? he's absolutely perfect. he's protective but such a girl. he loves girly love songs and sits through girly movies. he has opinions though and will stand by them, although hell never force them on you, theyre just his take it or leave it. hes a hard worker but so good at laughing at everythin. he gets me but at the same time will never get it. he;s booksmart and street smart and i am the luckiest little sister in the whole world. no matter how much i say it or how much i say about him thats the bottom line- anyone who knows him is blessed by an angel cause he's humble, strong and proud. and i love him more than anyone on the planet. i wish i had people here with me, people to spend time with when he's at work, just cause we work totally different times so we can get home since we have one car and only one driver. it gets pretty lonely. but alone time is definitely nice, i hate being around people alllll the time. and being away from parents is fucking awesome. were good, obviously, i mean if you know me you know im not really into the fuck up scene. anyway im done. tell me if youre at the beach.

dont read it- its gay

2006-05-16T01:38:12Z

im in a down spot. the worst thing about this downspot is that i was just told i shouldnt be having these down spots any longer but here i am. so ive decided im just a drama queen and no ne should even try to put up with me. the friends i have are angels but they can leave now cause iv lost my mind. its hard watching everyon be in their happiest moments&wonder if you lost your great passion for life. its hard to be lonely when no one gets it.

i dont know yet.

2006-05-07T23:33:46Z

so i dont really have anything to post about ive just started typing cause i can and feel like something good would come out of posting i dont know im in a wierd mood. i feel like a lot of things are changing but im not sure i dont really know where i am in life. you know how sometimes you have absolutely no reason to be hapy but you are, you just cant wipe the smile off your face? when you feel like you should be falling over with despair but you just keep walking with that weird reasonless grin on your face? i sort of feel like that, but just initially, then i think about it. i have amazing friends. i have best buds up the wazoo. i say i have no one i can trust and all that shit. well screw that idea i have just the greatest group of friends i could ever ask for and its only taken me 16 years, i mean thats luck. i had something go wrong last night and the best person i couldve asked for called me and he just was so sweet and let me cry but when i wanted to change the subject he just did and we laughed about the stupidest things and it was just such a good late night conversation and him and breanna are just so CUTE. i love those kids. and he called right when i needed someone, thats just heaven sent. thats called being blessed. and im happy. IM SO HAPPY I COULD CRY! i wanna run around like a little kid and i do, i wont pretend like i dont cause i do. and yea its true that when one thing goes wrong another things becomes good as well as when one thing fixes itself the other falls apart but sometimes its just too hard to let go of being happy to worry about something else. like for instance i hate that mr. morris is leaving i hate it but i know that its good i know that hell be happy jsut to be with kelly and on the beach and i know that because he has taught me that you need love and god and peace and people that care. i just trust that i wont lose him, that he and i will always remember each other and ill always send a christmas card, a halloween card, a happy birthday kelly card, happy birthday david card, happy birthday brigid card, thanksgiving cornocopia, teacher appreciation card, fourth of july basket (complete with sparklers&illegal fireworks), easter candy, and whatever else i can think of. theyve touched so many people and theyre continuing their path, how can we be greedy when weve already been lucky enough to know them this long? wow theyre wonderful. i wanna be skinny and i know i never will be but i also know its something ill always want. ill never be one of those strong women than can say im proud of my body cause wow i so am not. and its not that im unhealthy or anything, im healthy my mother, brother and friends wouldnt let me not be. but i wanna ook good this summer and i wont. i also want a boyfriend. i dont want the perfect relationship i want something sweet and slow. i dont want to be in love i just want to genuinely like someone and know they think im alright too. im fine with being single i dont mind it at all i just would prefer someone to say something sweet to. im a loser I KNOW. i feel like everyone has someone and i just dont, i mean im aware of the people that are in my same boat but i still feel like they know peopleand DAMN MY PINKY IS BEING WEIRD AND HURTS. it just makes me wonder if theyre something totally wrong with me, i feel like there is. something no one will tell me. like im heinous or i smell bad. im sure i do. but at the same time i am anythig but comfortable around new people so how could i meet a new person? something to reflect on some rainy night eh? and another thing, i love findind new friends, when you start talking to someone youve known for a while that you never thought youd actually get along with, not that you didnt think youd like each other just you wouldnt ever be on thesame page and suddenly you talk and its like OMG i love you! i found one of them recently and she just is fun fun fun. and i never thought she and i would be so alike. im sure she thinks "wow i wish brigid would go away" but thats cool cause im not gonna. she can deal. and i never thought id like one of my brothers girlfriends, just i always thought that i wouldnt get along with them due to the fact they were taking him away from me but I LOVE DANIELLE. shes just such a sweet girl and has the sweetest parents and hes so so so happy when hes with her, when he talks about her, when he thinks about her (its obvious when he is), when hes texting her, when hes waiting for her to come over. its just so good to see him so happy, you cant help but love it! he deserves it you know? well i know. anybody wanna go to prom with me may 20th?

messages to put out there. take a guess at who theyre to::

2006-04-25T03:57:56Z

"you see me at my weakest, but you take me as i am." youve meant more to me than ill ever be able to say. youre the only person thats ever understood and accepted me totally while knowing every little thing that goes on. i just cant even express how grateful and thankful i am to you or how much i absolutely adore you.

"a best friend can see the hurt in your eyes when the rest of the world is blinded by your smile." YOU mon amie make the world brighter by walking in the room. i doubt things sometimes but youre the first friend ive been this close to for this long and been able to tell myself to stop doubting. the card you gave me before i left is so totally us. i missed you so much and i have such a hard time missing people cause i usually figure they arent missing me. i needed you and missed you and wished you were there. i love you with all my heart.

got to admit its getting better, getting better all the time- that was just stuck in my head.

you can be a selfish brat but more often your the funniest cutest little thing ive ever spent time with.

i want the old you back.

HYPO FUCKING CRIT. you upset me, you go behind my back, you are just such a friggin jerk. two faced bitch. you pretend like youre a friend and you put that obnoxious smile on your face but you really arent worth my time im just stuck with you

im so excited for us to be bestest of bests again. ive missed you so so much!

dont hurt me.

<3!!

be steadfast. idk why i said that but its something i feel like a should say to you. i feel like something big is about to happen so be steadfast. hold on tight.

dont change when you leave. im gonna die without you here. you know how much i depend on and love you. <3 :o(

bitch. i hate our relationship and that it exists.

be my friend!! for real i think youre the best.

hey there cutie

more later im tired and yea that last one is not finished at all

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They
make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share words of praise
and they always want to open their hearts to us."

I LEAVE TODAY!!!

2006-04-12T12:24:37Z

i leave for europe today. rome&the vatican city, pisa, nice, monaco, florence, versailles and paris. :o) im nervous, ive never been without my family, moreover MY BROTHER, for ten days. i rarely, if ever, go without at least texting breanna but shell be off with jeff so im sure thats all good. ill miss her so much. its times like these you notice the people that make you so happy and your life so wonderful. it killed me to say goodbye to one of my very best friends, obviously right? but the worst part was that weve been fighting and i hated not saying goodbye and so she said "come here" after we both had hugged and freaked out with the rest of our friends and she came up and hugged me the hardest ive ever been hugged. fighting just happens but it never ruins a friendship as deep and meaningful as the one i have with this girl. i hope she has the best spring break out of all of us. damn if she doesnt deserve it. i rather her come with us but it didnt happen. college is gonna be painful. ive been with these girls, this class for seven years. some people ive gotten to know more recently than that but the atmosphere and comfort is seven years old. how do i just up and leave one day to go to the place im not sure i even want to go, i mean i KNOW i wanna go to italy, france and monaco and this is so hard. i cried when i hugged my brother then ran after him and hugged him again. i just love him so much. ive known him for all my life and no one has ever or ever could mean more. he enver questions me, he knows my flaws and knows how to get around them. its so weird and sounds so gay and all that but its true. hes my very very best friend. to watch him go to college this year will be hell but at least ill be at home so i know what i have arund me. next summer i leave. i leave my home but comfort level. i always can tell a person to do that but myself? no i cant. i wanna be an adventurer i wanna be independant and un sheltered. wow am i not ven close. im not bold and im not outgoing ost of the time, i mean i am with my friend around so how will i ever get anywhere in college? im not special or smart or unique in anyway. im the stereotypical thing. oh god im rambling like no other. when i come abck ill have been to my absolute dream destinations. ANNA&ALISON have a great wonderful fantastic break. i wish i could stay and hang out with you girls. i hope its fun fun fun! i love you sooo much <3. CHRISTI have a wonderful wonderful wonderful break i cant tell youhow much i love you and miss you. i love so many people and i will miss them all so much. i hope the softball team does well and has TONS of fun in florida along with EVERYONE ELSE GOING TO FLORIDA. thats to jeff and bre. and mindy, stevie and steve. be safe, wear sunscreen, use a rubber. i know its just ten days but no one knows what can happen in ten days. and ten days without the people i love with my life is a lifetime, its an eternity.

justwunnahavfun @ 2006-04-02T20:40:00

2006-04-03T00:49:49Z

You Are a Fierce Femme

You have a wild side, and you aren't afraid to bring it out when the time is right.
But you also know when to hang back and keep your "crazy chick" persona in check.
In fact, some of your friends may be surprised to find out how far you can take it...
You may look mild mannered, but it's all an act!

How Daring Are You?

You're Confident...Sometimes

You can seem confident when the occasion calls for it
But inside you may be experiencing a bit of self doubt
A little more inner confidence could take you far...
And convince others that you're as confident as you try to seem

Are You Confident?

i have to pee so bad and im so tired but instead ill sit here and do a retarded quiz thing

2006-03-30T04:48:41Z

SEVEN THINGS IN YOUR ROOM:
1. floyd
2. my journals
3. all the pictures of my best friends
4. cards
5. the shirt bre gave me
6. all my friggin clothes
7. memories

TOP SEVEN THINGS YOU SAY MOST:
1. fucking shit
2. i havent heard this before
3. really? i mean really?
4. whatever
5. dont worry about it
6. formidable
7. fabulous

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:
1. if people count as "things": sean
2. my mom
3. true friends
4. home
5. rain and crying
6. dance
7. musica

SEVEN THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. learn how to love again
2. surf
3. live in europe
4. rock out on stage in front of millions of people
5. be a good mom
6. say something that someone will keep with them forever
7. lose my virginity obviously

SEVEN OTHER THINGS:
Do You:
1. Drink? well duh i cant get dehydrated or id shrivel up like a prune
2. Do drugs? negative cap'n
3. Read the newspaper? i read the comics
4. Pray? all the fucking time
5. Have a Job? for the summer time but not that i am active in right now
6. Attend Church? every sunday at least
7. Wish on stars? i wish, if they make it up to the stars im lucky

Have you ever:
1. Gone skinny dipping? mhm
2. Had surgery? does er surgey count?
3. Swam in the dark? stupid question guys, i mean really
4. Been to a bonfire? this is ridiculous, of course i have
5. Ran away from home? well i could go abstract on you but for your sake, no i havent
6. Played strip poker? no one wants to see these clothes come off peice by peice trust me
7. Pulled an all nighter? i had hope these questions would end on an incline but you made me lose hope.

Have you in the past 24 hours:
1. Cried? of course
2. Sang? of course, and in public where people saw and heard.
3. Kissed someone? i dont believe so no
4. Felt stupid? mhm
5. Talked to an ex? mhm
6. Missed someone? mhm
7. Hugged someone? mhm

something happy to update about

2006-03-29T20:33:54Z

there are friends in this world who stick by you no matter what. there are girls who will lay down their lives for yours. theyll hold their good news until youre all cried out. they want you to smile but understand that no one does all the time. there are girls who understand how to be a friend from birth. its in their dna, you just have to trust them from the first moment you meet them. they see you through the hard times. they giggle with you at the boys. when they smile it make you want to smile. they make you want to be a better friend, and a better overall person. they give the best hugs and they know how to comfort, by words or by silence. you know in your darkest hours even if you cant reach them, they care. they would hold you to the end of time if they knew what went though your mind. they make you stronger, they teach you how to trust. its hard to be mad at them and its painful to fight with them. they are the angels in each of our lives. they are the heros and they become the best moms and grandmothers. when you lose them because of time passing, distance or a disaggreement, you still wish them the best and know they still wish it for you. i have 5 girls that i would die without. they'd surprise you with their couth and love. id surprise you with my choice. one i just met, two ive known for three years, one ive known for six, and the final has left my circle but never my heart. for all the people, boys and girls, that fall into this description i pray in thanksgiving, for all the people blessed by these angels i pray that they know the jem they hold.

who stole the quizzes from the breanna's livejournal jar....?noo

2006-03-15T22:17:12Z

What is my name?

Where did we meet?

How long have you known me?

Do I smoke?

When you first saw me, what your impression?

How old am I?

What is my birthday?

Do I watch football?

How many siblings do I have?

What animal do I remind you of?

Am I shy or outgoing?

Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules?

Can I sing?

Do I get along with my parents?

If there were one good nickname for me, what would it be?

Am I right or left handed?

Do I make my bed in the mornings?

Have I ever been in love?

Would you ever go out with me?

Am I a good friend?

What Would You Do If..
I cried:
I asked you to help:
I was becoming suicidal:
I killed myself:
I died from natural causes:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I started doing heroin:
I dropped out of school:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got in a fight and you were there:

What Do You Think About My...
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Voice:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Mannerisms:
Family:

Would You...
Be my friend:
Tell me the truth, no matter what:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Loan me some cash:
Hold my hand:
Take a bullet for me:
Keep in touch:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:

YES or NO
> > Am I:
> >1. ugly?
> >2. kind?
> >3. quiet?
> >4. loud?
> >5. shy?
> >6. weird?
> >7. selfish?
> >8. rocker
> >9. crazy?
> >10. hot?
> >11. cute?
> >12. pretty?
> >13. y?
> >14. nice?
> >15. mean?
> >16. immature?
> >17. rude?
> >18. cool?
> >19. brat?
> >20. stupid?
> >21. caring?
> >22. mature?
> >23. a friend?
> >24. more than a friend?
> >25. talkative?
> >26. boring?
> >27. beautiful?
> >28. creative?
> >29. smart?
> >30. a flirt?
> >31. trendy?
> >32. a psycho?
> >33. athletic?
> >34. confusing?
> >35. sweet?
> >36. mood swings?
> >37. attractive?
> >38. annoying?
> >39. funny?
> >40. hyper?
> >41. laid back?
> >42. perfect?
> >

*****WOULD YOU...*****
Hug me?:
Miss me if I was gone?:
Listen to my problems?:
Hug me if I cried?:
Be a good friend?:
Do me:

*****WOULD YOU...*****
Ever go out with me?:
If you already have would you do it again?:
Kiss me?:
Have rough sex with me?
Marry me if you could?:

*****IF YOU COULD*****
Give me a new name, what would it be and why?:
Hook me up with someone (real), who would it be and why?:
Do one thing with me what would it be and why?:

*****JUST A FEW QUESTIONS*****
What do you love about me?:
What do you hate about me?:
What is my best quality?:
If you could change one thing about me what would it be?:
What is your honest opinion about me?

this one is actually also on my myspace but i doubt anyone ever read that beside the chelstinator

~Name: btru
~Birth date: december 12, 1989
~Birthplace: cville
~Current Location: milky way galaxy
~Eye Color: hazel
~Hair Color: shit
~Righty or Lefty: right
~Zodiac Sign: saggitarius
~Innie or Outtie: innie

Series Two ~ Describe:
*Your heritage: 1/2 irish, 47% brit, 3%german
*Your hair: long and thick and brown. sounds a lot like something else
*Your eyes: bleh
*Your weakness: 'im a sucker for anything acoustic'
*Your fears: life. death. everything in between.
*Your perfect pizza: extra cheese, pepperoni, cooked to perfection, preferably pizza hut sutffed crust
*One thing you'd like to achieve: anything.

Series Three~ What Is:
~Your most overused phrase: "what makes you think..."
~Your thoughts first waking up: cant touch this bir nir nir nir nir nenenenenene
~The first feature(s) you notice: hair
~Your best physical feature: my momma says my bone structure, not that you can see it under all the cheek thats there
~Your bedtime: 945
~Your greatest accomplishment: falling out of love and surviving.
~Your most missed memory: falling in love.

Series Four ~ You Prefer:
*Pepsi or Coke: coke. as in the drug
*McDonald's or Burger King: bk fo sho
*Single or group dates: i wouldnt know would i?
*Adidas or Nike: im sponsored by adidas so i guess ill go with them
*Chocolate or vanilla: do not care
*Cappuccino or coffee: cappu
*Bras or Panties: panties

Series Five ~ Do You:
~Smoke: i use the chain method
~Cuss: mhm
~Take a shower everyday: if i get around to it. definitely more often than the last person that did this thing
~Have a crush: i dont even develope full crushes before im crushed so i try not to
~Want to go to college: and fail summore? rather not
~Like high school: not at all. id love to start totally over
~Want to get married: no
~Believe in yourself: not really
~Get motion sickness: when i read in the car
~Think you're attractive: nope
~Think you're a health freak: NO
~Get along with your parents: sometimes/never
~Like thunderstorms: very much
~Play an instrument: no

Series Six ~ In the Past Month, did/have You:
*Smoked: i used the chain method
*Done a drug: done your drug
*Made Out: obviously not
*Go to the mall: hell if i know
*Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
*Eaten sushi: no
*Been on stage: yea
*Gone skating: no
*Made homemade cookies: no
*Been in love: no
*Skinny dipping: no
*Dyed your hair: no
*Stolen anything: no

Series Seven ~ Have You Ever:
~Played a game that required removal of clothing: yea
~Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
~Been caught "doing something": haha
~Been called a tease: yea
~Gotten beaten up: yea
~Shoplifted: yea
~If so, did you get caught:no

Series Eight ~ The Future:
*Age you hope to be married: ooh given up on that hope
*Numbers and Names of Children: 3, obviously by myself. first cody matthew, then arian micheal, then parker elizabeth.
*Describe your Dream Wedding: you must not be getting it
*How do you want to die: soon
*Where you want to go to college: i dont
*What did you want to be when you were growing up: ballerina
*What do you want to be when you grow up now: something with film and photography but right now i dont give a rats ass
*What country would you most like to visit: greece. because i have been/am already going to everywhere else i want to go to. ill prolly want to go to italy again though

Series Nine - Opposite Sex:
*Best eye color: dont care, just deep
*Best hair color: depends on the guy
*Short or long hair: depends on the guy
*Best height: taller than me
*Best weight: football build
*Best articles of clothing: jeans that have the perfect amount of bagginess, chelsea gets this.
*Best date: already happened and i wont go into detail
*Best first kiss location: this is making me depressed

Series Ten ~ Number of:
~Number Of Boyfriends You've Had: 3
~Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
~Number of people I could trust with my life: 1
~Number of CDs that I own: 574
~Number of tattoos: 0
~My first tattoo: will be a rose or a broekn heart
~Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: idk a bunch. my face was in an ad for a while
~Number of scars on my body: a lot

Series Eleven ~ Who What When Where Why:
*What time did you go to sleep last night? 1130something
*What was the last noise you heard before you fell asleep?: konstantine
*The last thing you said?: no idea
*What did you dream about?: dont remember
*Do you drool or snore when you sleep?: no
*How did you wake up?: my alarm
*What's the first thing that crossed your mind when you woke up?: i wnted to throw up
*When was the last time you took a shower?: idk
*When was the last time you said I love you to the opposite sex and meant it? idk
*Where was the last place you went outside of your house?: school
*Who was the last friend you saw?: bre
*Who was the last friend you talked to?: bre
*Who's the one person you would die without?: sean
*What's your favorite song?: long december, stark raving sick sad little world
*Favorite lyric?: the feeling that its all a lot of oysters but no pearl
*Favorite group?: incubus, starting line, counting crows
*Favorite album?: a crow left of murder
*How many times have you been in love?: one guy, many times.
*Are you in love anyone right now?: not at all
*Do they love you back?:
*If you could kill one person, who would it be?: me
*How many pillows are on your bed?: two
*What color is the bottle of shampoo you use, and what kind is it?: orange and i forget the name
*What color is the soap you use and kind?: bath and body workd sweet pea
*What color is your razor?: pink
*What kind of deoderant do you use?: that red thing for men
*What kind of cologne/perfume do you wear?: sweet pea
*How long are your nails right now?: eh
*How old is the computer you're on?: no idea
*Who was the last person to annoy you?: no comment
*Do you believe in God?: yes
*How long are the showers you take?: bout 15 minutes maybe a half hour
*How many showers do you take a week?: around 7
*Do you love your parents?: yea
*Do you love your siblings?: depends on which sibling youre speaking of
*What's the worst thing that ever happened to you?: oh my god...
*When's the last time you cried?:today
*Why?: life, mr.morris
*The last time you wished you were dead?: now but if anyone comments on this ill bite their head off.
*The last time you felt important?: never
*The last time you felt sad because someone close to you was hurting?: religion today
*The last time you screamed?: idk
*Have you ever physically hurt yourself?: mnkguyoe
*How smart are you?: meh
*Do you like being outside?: yea
*What one person do you know you could always turn to?: sean
*Who do you look up to?: sean
*Who's the last person that made you cry?: mr morris
*Is emotional pain or physical pain worse?: emotional but too often theyre tied together
*Where do you want to live?: dont know do care
*How many scars are on your body?: obnoxious
*How many people do you love?: 11 and my extended family
*Who's your best friend(s): sean, bre, jeff, chels
*Who do you turn to for advice?: sean, brenna
*If you could bring back one person from the dead, who would it be?:Mr. Manochech
*On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you?: 3
*On a scale of 1-10, how depressed are you?: meh
*What color are the sheets on your bed?: tons
*When was the last time you were sick?: idk
*Are you hurting anywhere right now?: yea
*What do you wish you were doing right now?:not this
*When was the last time you had a nightmare?: last time i woke up
*Are you talking to anyone right now?: no
*Who's the last person you were on the phone with?: bre
*Are you pale?: yea
*When was the last time you brushed your hair?: this morning
*How many screen names do you have?: idk
*Which one do you use the most?: coolpunctuation

Series Twelve ~ Random:
[In the morning I am]:tired
[All I need is]:happiness
[Love is]:out of my reach
[I'm afraid of]:everything
[I dream about]:life

~HAVE YOU EVER. . .
[Seen your crush naked]:no
[Had sex]:no
[Made love]:no
[Been in love]:already answered this fucker
[Lied]:yea

~WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
[What do you notice first?]:whtever i said before i think hair
[Last person you slow danced with]:wow do i not remember, eric?

~DO YOU EVER
[Sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?]:no
[Save aol/aim conversations]:mhm
[Wish you were a member of the opposite sex]:meh
[Cry because of someone saying something to you]:mhm

~WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON
[You talked to on the phone]:bre
[Hugged]:b-ren
[You instant messaged]: frapa
[You laughed with]:dont rmemeber

~ARE/DO YOU:
[Obsessive]:no
[Could you live without the computer?]:mhm
[How many peeps are on your buddylist?]:meh
[What's your favorite food?]:fruit
[Whats your favorite fruit?]:all
[Like watching sunrises or sunset]: yea
[Trust others way too easily?]: no

FIRSTS.
First best friend: lindsay galliford
First car:-
First date: aj
First real kiss: aj
First screen name: socialbuterfli07
First self purchased album: idk
First funeral:my grandfathers
First pet:-
First enemy:amanda
First musician you remember hearing in your house:-

LASTS.
Last cigarette:right now
Last car Ride:home from school
Last kiss:are you serious?
Last good cry:monday. i was sobbing
Last library book checked out: really?
Last movie seen:harry potter
Last beverage drank:milk
Last food consumed:yogurt...im vegan
Last phone call:bre but diff phone call
Last time showered:no idea
Last shoes worn:idk
Last cd played:mix
Last item bought:no idea
Last annoyance:this thing
Last disappointment:life
Last time wanting to die: r ggggggbvje
Last time scolded:i dont gt "scolded" i dont even understand this concept i get yelled at but what is scolded?
Last shirt worn:are you expecting me to not have one on? im wearing one i stole from, who else, chelster
Last website visited:www.livejournal.com/users/breannapancakes (to get all these annoying quizzes that i fully regret but fuck IM HERE)
Last word you said:freak, to what bre had here last
Last song you sang:you love me but you dont know who i am

.WHAT.
What is in your cd player?:mix dumbass
What color socks are you wearing?:clear
What Color of underwear are you wearing?:red and blue
What's under your bed?:tons of shit. its where i tend to go
What time did you wake up today?: 6:34

justwunnahavfun @ 2006-03-13T01:47:00

2006-03-13T01:48:16Z

>1. My name:
>2. Where did we meet?
>3. Take a stab at my middle name:
>4. How long have you known me?
>5. Do I smoke?
>6. Do I believe in God?
>7. What was your first impression of me upon meeting?
>8. Color of my eyes:
>9. Do I have any siblings?
>10. What's one of my favorite things to do?
>11. Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?
>12. What's my favorite type of music?
>13. What is the best feature about me?
>14. Am I shy or outgoing?
>15. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
>16. Any special talents?
>17. Would you consider me a friend?
>18. If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?
>19. What's your favorite memory of me?
>20. If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing
would I bring?

justwunnahavfun @ 2006-03-11T18:35:00

2006-03-11T23:41:26Z

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to take more than give in relationships.

You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh.
You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum.

Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Your Elf Name Is...

Trixie Twinkle Wink

What's Your Elf Name?

Your Love Element Is Water

In love, you connect deeply and commit totally.
For you, love is all about taking risks and moving into unknown territory.

You attract others with courage and confidence.
Your flirting style is defined by your flexibility and ability to adapt.

Nurturing and shared learning are the cornerstones of your love life.
And while you may jump in to love too quickly, you always come out the wiser for it.

You connect best with: Metal

Avoid: Earth

You And another Water element: will pull each other down into a dark place

What Element Is Your Love?

poetry

2006-02-22T15:32:42Z

" "Yes," I answered you last night;
"No," this morning, Sir, I say.
Colours seen by candlelight,
Will not look the same by day. "
elizabeth barrett browning.
i love this thing. especcially the last two lines.

my backbone is strong but missing.

2006-02-14T03:53:48Z

back to the drawing board. back to where i have no direction, no hopes, or dreams, or plans. i have loyal friends that have no time for friendships; unexplainable emotions that everyone tries to relate to. what do you say when you pour your heart out and they dont get it. how do you tell them theyre not right when they swear they are.

saying youre great isnt the same as saying youre gonna be okay. support isnt the words you recite to me from memory, its the "i don't know how to tell yous" and "im not good at this's" that you stumbled through. respect doesnt make best friends. disrespect doesnt make them either. making plans doesnt equal making memories. when you and i get through something rough i'll have confidence but all i see now is me alone again. ill be the hardest friend to help, but i'll never leave youre side. i'll never tell you how much i need you, how much i love you, how much you amaze me. ill never let you know when youre perfect, just when youre messing up. ill tell you i dont trust just to hear you say why i should. i'll never make it easy until i push you to your breaking point. i'll never question youre knowledge of something you can find in a text book but i'll make you rip your hair out thinking about whether i'm okay or not. youll be tired, unsure, fed up, frustrated and upset sometimes but when you need me youll be strong, true, and youre very best. i'll never make sense, ill never help you understand me, when i say "forget it" i mean "figure it out on your own" and you better. i have no patterns, i'm not written down in black and white. i follow no rule easily, i find the spirit and follow that. im not the greatest, im not the worst, im not mediocre either. i cry in poems and laugh silently. i mean nothing and everything i say. i stand behind every word of this until you start worrying. if you tell me im wrong, ill return the favor. i dont like giving or recieving advice but i do it anyway uncaring of whether you want it. ill never overcome depression, depression will never over take me. i hope you understand this is a warning, an explination. it means i love you, and i hate that.

justwunnahavfun @ 2006-02-08T20:49:00

2006-02-09T01:51:07Z

Hi, im having a nice day.
Love, Brigid

ne-tay-tay

2006-02-02T00:24:08Z

Finish This Sentence...

I am...: bummed cause i just figured him out.

My ex-boyfriend was...: worthless

Maybe I should...: put on warmer clothes

I love...: my best friends

I don't understand...: mrs kotulak's hair cut.

I lost my...: trust in you.

My boyfriend is...: really hott.

People say I'm...: understanding

Love is...: hard to fall out of.

Somewhere, someone is...: where i belong.

Forever is...: worth it.

The current President is...: equal in intelligence to a monkey.

When I wake up in the morning, I...: have a bad taste in my mouth.

Life is full of...: love.

My past is incredibly...: bumpy.

I get annoyed when...: you open you fat face.

I wish...: i was happier.

Kisses are the worst when...: you want to but can't.

Nice...: guy.

Tommorrow I'm going to...: dance class.

I really want some...: sleep.

I have low tolerance for people who...: are FAKE.

this goes out to three, more or less.

2006-01-19T02:01:02Z

you'll never understand no matter what you say. you wont get why i feel how i do. you'll never smile for the same reasons. you'll never see what i've seen. ill never open up the way i have to you ever again. i can't look into people's eyes without seeing you. you move along and change your life, i can't. my loyalty will bring my downfall. you got me through everything. i miss you. i miss who i knew you as whether you lied or not. love surrounds me now and all i wanted was that from you. i wanted a real friend i wanted something big. i know not getting what you want all the time teaches a lesson, teaches about life. but i earned it, i spent the nights and the tears and the days and the years and the horrible dredful moments realizing it was all for naught. you'll never read this. you'll never know it's to you. you'll never know i think of you.

my new "breathe";; this is how i want to be.

2006-01-18T01:55:42Z

"I'm Just Beginning, The Pen's In My Hand, Ending Unplanned

Staring At The Blank Page Before You,
Open Up The Dirty Window
Let The Sun Illuminate The Words That You Could Not Find
Reaching For Something In The Distance
So Close You Can Almost Taste It
Release Your Inner Visions
Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else,
No One Else Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins
The Rest Is Still Unwritten

Oh, Oh

I Break Tradition,
Sometimes My Tries
Are Outside The Lines
We've Been Conditioned To Not Make Mistakes,
But I Can't Live That Way

Staring At The Blank Page Before You
Open Up The Dirty Window
Let The Sun Illuminate The Words That You Could Not Find
Reaching For Something In The Distance
So Close You Can Almost Taste It
Release Your Inner Visions
Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else
No One Else Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins

Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else, No One Else
Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins
The Rest Is Still Unwritten

(Staring At The Blank Page Before You, Open Up The Dirty Window
Let The Sun Illuminate The Words That You Could Not Find
Reaching For Something In The Distance
So Close You Can Almost Taste It
Release Your Inner Visions)

Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else, No One Else
Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins
The Rest Is Still Unwritten

Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else, No One Else
Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins
The Rest Is Still Unwritten"

you decide.

2006-01-10T05:25:54Z

Your Alias Should Be:

Jaiden Itzel

What Should Your Alias Be?

Your Toes Should Be Black

A total rulebreaker (and heartbreaker), you're always a little punk rock.

Your flirting style: Wacky and a bit shocking

Your ideal guy: An accomplished artist, musician, or writer

Stay away from: Preppy guys looking for a quick bad girl fling

What Color Should Your Toenails Be?

Your Celebrity Style Twin is Gwen Stefani

Trendsetting, unique, and stylish.

Who's Your Celebrity Style Twin?

You Should Date A Swede!

You're a romantic, albeit an understated and practical one.
It's more about a steady partnership for you, not unrestrained falling
Your Swede will give you the unwavering love you crave
While making up some mean pancakes and meatballs on the side!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

Your Inner Muse is Thalia

You are most like this playful muse of comedy.
Life is all about laughter to you, and you're a natural comic.
You make people laugh until their sides split.
And you're always up for some play time!

What Muse Are You?

Your Reputation Is: Sweet Girl

While you're well known, there's nothing to worry about.
You're reputation is mostly good - as good as any rep can be.

What's Your Reputation?

Your Power Color Is Blue

Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you.
You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.
If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.
You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What's Your Power Color?

You Are Amy Lee!

Gothy, expressive, woman-in-pain
Who looks damn good in a corset
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick?

crushes.

2006-01-09T22:52:09Z

its bite your lip, smile goofy, butterflies, cant get him out of your mind. its the most dangerous and the most fabulous thing. but jumping off a cliff one of two things will happen, you'll land on something solid, or learn to fly.

justwunnahavfun @ 2006-01-05T19:35:00

2006-01-06T00:39:51Z

i think you don't

fall out of love

until you

fall into someone else.

&boy im falling...